Notice
by banishthegloom
Summary: Dawn has a midnight snack while contemplating her place in life. One-shot.


_Doesn't anybody notice? Doesn't anybody care?_ Ever since Dawn was cut off she had been thinking about the words. Sure she had been under a spell, they all had, but she knew the songs they sang all came from deep inside them. It helped them in some way to get them out. Now Dawn knew she never would. She didn't know the rest of the words. She knew the meaning though. No one **wanted** to notice.

During her parents' divorce no one thought much about Dawn. When Dawn started thinking about it she realized she wasn't really there during that time. It made her feel better…until she realized that meant even the monks didn't think she should have a past where she was noticed. She was set up from the beginning.

Maybe it was necessary, so that Glory and her minions wouldn't notice, but that didn't feel like it rang true to Dawn. How would it put her in danger to know her parents and Buffy had cared during the divorce? It wouldn't have. It would have only helped her to have that memory. It would have helped a lot.

Instead she had memories of arguments and tears. Of Buffy slamming doors and leaving, of Buffy running away. Of her dad leaving. Not even bothering to say more than a quick, unthought out bye. Of her mom crying and then holing up in her room. Of Dawn herself sitting on the couch in the living room. The tv was on but she wasn't watching it. She only pretended to while she waited to see if any of her family would come back to her. If they would notice a little girl who needed assurance or at least notice during such a difficult and confusing time.

Dawn got out of bed. Those thoughts had left her tossing and turning. Maybe if she had a midnight snack she would feel better. She looked at the clock. Well, 2 am snack. As she walked down the stairs she was caught up in her thoughts again, not even noticing when she made it to the kitchen.

After they moved to Sunnydale, Dawn noticed Buffy sneaking out almost every night. Even though she was careful, their mom had caught her a few times. No one ever caught Dawn. Dawn knew she wasn't as sneaky as Buffy, not by a long shot. She didn't want to be caught, but the more she got away with it, the more she couldn't help but think that those around her just didn't want to notice. After all even Buffy got caught sometimes and she had slayer powers. Slayer powers that as years went on really should have noticed Dawn as she snuck out time and time again. The only one that ever noticed was Spike and that was because he was stalking Buffy.

Dawn opened the fridge and grabbed out the milk, then she grabbed a glass and poured milk into it. She got the bread, peanut butter, and strawberry jelly and started making herself a sandwich. In the dark she had grabbed the wrong knife. She though she had gotten a butter knife but it was one of the regular small knives. She didn't realize this until she nicked her finger with it.

"Ow." She said in surprise as she ran water over her finger and switched to a butter knife. She remembered another time she bled. When she first found out she was the key. Everyone was at the house. No one had noticed her sneak out or back in. She had cut herself, to see if she was real and waited in the kitchen. It looked like blood. It flowed like blood. She had half expected light or energy or something to come out but it hadn't. She wasn't sure how long she had waited in the kitchen bleeding until she came out and asked every if it was blood. No one had come in all the time she sat there before but suddenly they were jumping up.

Dawn had finished making her sandwich by now and was sitting in the kitchen eating it. Alone. But of course she was alone. She never kept friends for very long. She always hoped to when she met someone new. It seemed she got close to people quickly, but she couldn't hold on to them, they always drifted away. She'd go to their house once or hang out with them at school for a couple days before they found other friends. No one noticed that either. Especially Buffy. You think she would as close as she is to the Scoobies, Dawn thought. I am only a Scooby by default. Buffy was Chosen to be the Slayer, Buffy chose her friends, no one chose me other than some desperate monks and it wasn't even me, just my energy they chose. Or maybe my personality too, but they made it. No one has chosen me for me.

Dawn washed her plate in the sink and let the water run longer than needed while she watched it. No one had noticed her mourn. It was all about Buffy. Helping Buffy, getting Dawn out of the way for Buffy so Buffy could go through her feelings and figure things out when their mom died. Tears stung in Dawns eyes and she turned off the faucet. Like Buffy cared more, like being the younger daughter made it easier instead of harder.

Dawn was crying now. Quietly but openly. Why do I cry so easily? She wondered. Doesn't anyone else notice I cry so easily? Don't they wonder why? Dawn questioned. She doubted Buffy or Willow ever cried so easily. Xander either but she figured that was a male thing. Suddenly she felt strong arms gently put themselves around her.

"What's the matter Niblet?" Spike asked. Dawn smiled and a small laugh escaped through her tears. Spike noticed. He did seem to notice most of the time. She let her head fall against him.

"Nothing really. I am just being silly." Dawn said through tears that were slowing.

"Crying's not nothing Niblet." Spike said looking down at her in his arms. She swiped at her tearstained cheeks with one of her hands. He usually noticed. It seemed strange, Spike of all people being the one to always notice her. Not her sister, not her sister's friends who she liked to think of as her friends, not her sister's watcher who really seemed to be the only one who acted like an adult, just Spike. Spike, her sister's stalker. Why did he always seem like Dawn's protector? He even broke in the magic box to steal with her. No one else even knew she stole until recently. He had known but he did too so it was no big deal.

"I love you Spike." Dawn said, tired out and not thinking clearly due to crying.

"Um…heh…love you too Niblet." Spike responded being caught a bit off guard. He did love Dawn like an older brother would, but he wasn't used to speaking of it.

"Better now bit?" Spike asked. Dawn nodded sleepily.

"Then let's get you back up to bed." Spike said carrying a half a sleep Dawn up the stairs and setting her on her bed.

"Night Dawn." Spike said as he left via her bedroom window.

"Night Spike." Dawn said smiling and snuggling into bed. She drifted off with a happy heart, a heart that was noticed, that she realized had been noticed every so often by someone all along.


End file.
